Kristen's Story

I was the victim of periodic bullying from around 1st through 7th grade. What's even crazier than the thought of being bullied for 7 years, is that the bullying ironically came from girls I considered to be my "best friends." I remember one day at recess, seeing a collection of my girlfriends huddled around our fearless ringleader, all of them staring in my direction. I knew at that moment what was happening and my tiny, ten year old heart sank: It was a, "let's gang up on Kristen" day. I could never understand what triggered these episodes, but when the decision was made, the silent treatment, cold shoulders and name calling lasted for days or even weeks on end.

Those were the times I came home crying, and the mornings I had horrible anxiety and dreaded walking through the doors at school. The feeling was paralyzing. And then, as if the week had all been a horrible dream, one day I would walk through the door and my friends would be smiling and welcoming me to sit with them at lunch. Not understanding what had happened or why was almost as difficult as the bullying itself, but of course I wasn't going to question it. I was grateful and relieved to have my friends back, and did my best to enjoy our time together until the next blacklisting occurred.

Luckily, I entered middle school and linked arms with an incredible friend who encouraged me to take a stand and who wanted to take the stand with me. It was after school one day that I found myself receiving prank call after prank call by two of my "best friends." Normally, I would have buried my head in my pillow and cried for several hours, praying that it was an isolated incident. But this time, I decided to pick up the phone and call a friend - someone who I didn't even know that well - and share my feelings. To my surprise, she not only showed me empathy and compassion, but volunteered to stand along side me and put an end to their behavior. She's still my best friend twenty years later.

It took just one act of courage to ask for help, and one act of kindness from a friend to completely change the trajectory of my life. This may seem dramatic, but when you're 12 years old, friends ARE your life, and the heartache that comes from bullying is just as real as the pain I now feel at 34 years old. It may be worse, in fact.

I hope and pray that my children will not only avoid being the targets of bullying, but will be the kid who stands up and fights for others. I also hope and pray that more awareness continues to be brought to this topic. As parents, we have a responsibility to talk to our kids about their feelings and the feelings of others, and create an environment where they feel safe to share. Together, we can make a difference.